Henry Doesn't Need a Father
by elisesdean
Summary: August is flirty-flirty with Emma. Henry doesn't like that at all. He thinks his moms should be together and everyone else needs to back far away. *Swan Queen end-game*


****I decided to upload all the finished one-shots I had in my folders in gratitude for being such great friends and reviewers while I go on a (possibly very long hiatus).****

**Anonymous Asked You: August tries to court Emma until Henry tells him "I've already got two moms, I don't want or need a father"**

**AN: I'm not gonna lie, I had lots of fun with Henry in this one….**

Henry watched from outside the diner as August flirted shamelessly with Emma. He studied his mother's reactions to his advances. He knew that he couldn't just dismiss him if Emma actually looked at him in any way like she looked at his other mom, but he also knew that Emma would never make those looks.

He saw August chuckle and walk out of the diner. And he stepped from his hiding place behind the sign and started barreling toward the diner door.

"Hey, hey, Henry!" August greeted with a smile, "How's everything going?"

"Everything would be going according to plan if you would back off."

August was taken aback, "Excuse me?"

"Emma… My mom doesn't want to be with you. Stop trying."

August let out a pithy, disbelieving laugh. He was completely stunned by this, "Excuse me?"

"She doesn't want to be with you. And before you even think about it, neither does my other mom."

"Henry… I'm not trying to upset you—"

"I don't need you either. I don't need your attention or your gifts. I've got two moms, I don't need a father." Henry paused, "I don't want a father either. My moms are the best parents in the world. They love me, they protect me; and the three of us are a family." He pushed passed the scruffy man, "So like I said, I'd be better and things would be going according to plan if you would back off."

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Henry, honey?" Regina just got home from work. She'd put her briefcase in the study, shrugged her pantsuit jacket off, taken off her shoes, and was in the middle of rolling up her sleeves as she walked into the living room.

"Hi mom." Henry didn't take his eyes from his videogame.

Regina stared at the screen as she finished with her sleeves then spoke in a soft warning tone, "Henry…"

Henry paused his game and set the controller in front of him while Regina moved and sat next him, putting her arm around him.

She leaned into the boy and kissed his hair, "I had an interesting visit from August today…"

"What'd he do?"

"He told me that you threatened him."

"I didn't." Henry said simply.

"He told me you told him to stay away from Emma…" Regina waited and when she didn't get an answer she pulled slightly away and looked at her son, "Henry…?"

"I don't want him to date her."

"Why?"

"Because he's not you."

Regina literally had to pull from the boy completely and moved to sit on the coffee table to face him. "Excuse me?"

"I think you and Emma would make a great couple. And.. I mean. You're both my moms already, so it works out."

Regina wiped her hand over her face. She stood, "Okay… uhmm.." She started pacing, "Henry.. Honey.. I'm not sure what to do with this. This is… the last—no, this is not even on the list of things that I would expect. I'm going to need to process all of this before we talk on it again." She finally stopped pacing and faced her son, "But I do need to say this: Don't threaten August again. Give him a chance, all right?"

Henry bowed his head, mainly so his mother wouldn't see the amusement in his eyes. This whole total honesty thing between his brunette mother and himself since the curse broke has proven to be immensely effective. "Okay." His tone was properly regretful.

"Dinner?" Regina easily changed the subject.

"Yes, please." He reached for his controller, but before he could touch it, his mother's next words came.

"You want to help?"

Henry smiled and nodded, "Yeah. I like learning how to cook."

Regina smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked to the kitchen. "Knowing how to cook will prove a useful endeavor when you're all grown up. It will help you appear sophisticated and sexy."

"Mom!" Henry smiled and ducked his head embarrassed.

"You'll be quite the ladies' man… or men's man." Regina shrugged with the last part of her sentence, then paused in her reach for a cutting board, "Just please, please, please promise me you won't marry a munchkin from Munchkin Land… Munchkins from any other land are okay, just not Munchkin Land." She rolled her eyes, "They're horrible, petty, judgmental beings that hold grudges for the smallest of things. You'll make your life easier in the long run."

"Okay, Mom. I promise." He took the proffered cutting board and set it on the counter as Regina got the things they'd need for their meal.

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Shit." Emma paced the length of Regina's desk a moment before turning to her, "I mean _shit!_ Are you kidding me?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"I…no." Regina shook her head, "I am not…"

Emma plopped down and stared at the brunette before her. She leaned forward, stacking her fists on the desk and putting her chin on top, "I can always tell when you're lying…" She said softly.

"So you've said… Am I lying?" Regina didn't look at Emma's face until after she spoke; mainly it was to garner the blonde's reaction.

Emma cracked a smile, "No." She sat back and crossed her legs. "So… Kid doesn't need a father…"

"It seems he's content with two mothers. He' even made us a fairytale in his head."

Emma stared at the brunette for a good thirty seconds before she spoke again, "He made us a what now?"

"A fairytale."

"Yeah…" Emma wasn't sure what to make of it, "You said 'us'. What do you mean by 'us'?"

"He thinks that we, you and myself, would make a good couple—"

"As in two people in a relationship… with the dating and the kissing and the coming home to a family at the end of the day?"

"I think so, yes."

"_Shit!_" Emma started pacing again.

Regina rolled her eyes and at this point decided to go back to work.

"Like… Shit, Regina!"

Regina typed as she spoke, "Are you so appalled by the suggestion of being with me that you have to stomp around my office like a barbarian?"

This stopped Emma, "Are you _not_ appalled?"

Regina didn't answer. She just kept typing on her computer.

"Regina..?"

"I think our son, _our_ son has a very curious mind. I respect it and his choice in partner for me…" Regina did finally stop and look at Emma, "Even if she doesn't know how to keep herself together…ever."

Emma glared at the brunette before she flipped her hair and looked out the window, "Please. You'd be begging for it all the time. You love arguing; it's a turn on for you. You like that I can stand up to you; you like it more when I stand up for you, but regardless. You think my jackets are sexy and you love my ass in these jeans."

"Narcissus? You've changed with time."

"I'm Narcissus? Really?" Emma chuckled sarcastically, "I'm sorry… Are you or are you not the one with the story in this world where you set out to kill Snow White because she's prettier than you? Are you or are you not the one with the magic mirror?"

Regina rolled her eyes, "I'd hardly kill Snow because I think she's prettier than me, which, just to clarify, she's not."

Emma smirked as she crossed her arms. "No, she's not."

Regina raised her brows, "My, my. You're not going to stick up for Mommy Margaret?"

Emma shrugged, "Not for something I don't believe." The blonde stared straight into the brunette's eyes.

Regina blushed slightly before turning back to her screen. "I just thought you should know why he's, as you so eloquently put it, 'been bugging' lately." She spoke softly.

Emma watched her a moment longer, studying her before she nodded once and left the office without a word.

~0~0~0~0~0~

August walked into the diner one day a few weeks after the incident with Henry. He saw Emma and was on his way over when the back of Henry's head came into view. He simply smiled as he passed them by and rounded back to the diner counter.

"August!" Emma called after him and motioned for him to come over. She scooted in a bit, making room for him as he did and spoke sarcastically, "Henry doesn't want you to try to flirt with me; doesn't mean you can't hang with us. Right, kid?"

"Right." Henry looked down at his phone, ignoring them.

Emma smirked and shouldered August, "See? He doesn't care."

August smiled flirtatiously. He glanced to Henry who was glaring daggers his direction now. The scruffy man decided to say nothing.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma was doing pull ups using the top of the jail cell door. She'd realized that she hadn't had sex—well, sex worth calling sex in a good few years, and that had apparently been with a flying monkey and before that it was anybody's guess. She'd found herself increasingly horny and needing a release.

So… She decided to start bugging Regina. Who better than your secret, secret crush?

It was all Regina's fault anyways!

Emma had been perfectly fine being flirty, flirty with August, then Regina had to go and drop the challenge of who's sexier, which would have been a great argument, and call her Narcissus, practically force Emma to tell her tell her she's prettier than Mommy Margaret and blush when Emma agreed. God damn it, Emma is only one woman. One woman that appreciates a good challenge and a good partner. And she knew deep down that no one could match her step for step like Regina.

And that is exactly why she decided to call her and tell her she wouldn't be getting the last three months of backlogged paperwork over to her like she requested. She was too horny, too antsy to sit around and do paperwork.

She'd worked up a nice shine, but wasn't dripping of sweat yet when she heard the distinctive clack of heals on hard floors.

She smirked.

"Sheriff Swan." Regina's tone was annoyed as she walked in, looking into the inner office. And when she didn't see her, she looked around only to find the blonde holding herself up on the top bar of the jail cell. "What the hell are you doing?"

Emma chuckled a bit as she did another pull up, "Getting ready for a fight."

Regina rolled her eyes, "Why are you not getting all that paperwork to me?"

"Why do we have to have paperwork to begin with?" Emma dropped from the bar and walked towards the other woman, stopping at the bars to have something to lean against, "You and I both know it's bullshit. We both know that some magical something is going to come here and try to destroy this town because I am the savior and you are Regina…"

"Oh please. I'm sure that by now we've battled all the evils that could possibly try to take us over…"

Emma shrugged nodding along, offering a suggestion, "Gold, back when he was bad all those times." She looked at the brunette, a hint of goading in her eye, "What was he to you? Like your stepdad, or…?"

Regina rolled her eyes once more and shuddered at the thought, "Captain Hook." She provided her own evil.

Emma smirked and stepped closer to Regina, "Your mother."

"Maleficent."

"Your boyfriend."

"The wraiths."

"Your wicked green sister."

Regina quickly pointed a finger at the blonde in frustration, "Will you stop?" She turned superiorly, sticking her chin up as she did so, slightly away from the sheriff, "Daniel was hardly an evil. Besides, it was Whale's doing when he was."

"Daniel? I was talking about Robin Hood."

"Robin is not evil. He's courageous and strong."

"And left you to die." Emma faked a dreamy expression, "My hero."

"He did not leave me to die! I had no power, I couldn't poof, and I was thrown over a cliff. He tried to save me, but I slipped through his hands."

Emma nodded arrogantly now, "Yeah, and who do you have to thank for being here today?"

Regina tried to hide her delight as Emma challenged her to say her thanks—for the zillionth time. She knew now that Emma did it to get a rise out of her. Today she wouldn't give her the satisfaction of getting her goat. She simply said it, "You, Emma. I thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for swooping in on your Pegasus and catching me."

Emma grinned, crossing her arms happily, "You're welcome."

Regina glared playfully, "Speaking of boyfriends. Do I or do I not remember correctly that you and Hook had your little fling?"

"Oh yeah…" Emma thought about it a moment before she realized something about her last sexual encounter, "It wasn't with a flying monkey."

"Excuse me?" Regina turned surprised.

"Last time I had sex… Not with a flying monkey."

Regina stared at the other woman for a good thirty seconds debating on if she was trying to get rise out of her or if there was no goal in mind for the woman or if she was simply curious of a reaction. She pursed her lips a moment before, "Well, I'm glad I never took Hook up on his offer and kept with Graham. He's obviously so memorable…"

"You know who is memorable?" Emma asked, delight dancing in her eyes.

Regina looked off, knowing it was going to come out of the blonde's mouth anyways, "I'm sure you'd love to share."

"Me."

Regina turned fully to the blonde, brows raised, surprised written on her face, "Excuse me?"

"You're thinking about it, now." Emma smirked as she stretched her arms over her head, grabbing on to the top of the doorway of the cell, studying Regina's reaction. She watched Regina's eyes rake over her form, which she'd seen a million times before. It's funny how when feelings change, looks have different meanings to them. She kept her smirk on her face as she spoke, "Interesting." She dropped her arms.

"What?" Regina shook her head, trying to form a sentence.

"You said nothing… You didn't try to deny it." Emma shrugged and started to walk out.

Regina poofed out into the hallway, blocking Emma's exit, "Just what are you trying to prove?"

Emma shook her head, "What?"

"Emma, come on… I think we've come further than this in our time together." Regina crossed her arms, waiting.

Emma studied her, "Did Robin ever do it for you? Like really, truly, completely satisfy every part of you?"

"That's hardly any of your business."

"So that's a no." Emma gave Regina a look reminding her that she always knew when she was lying and that evading had become an art form for the brunette and she knew it, "Did Graham or Daniel?"

"I thought we were talking about you and your problem."

Emma knew what that meant as well, "You ever think about it?"

"Think about what?" Regina was not sure her thinking of Emma in bed was what she was supposed to be thinking about.

"About me. About us. You ever think that the kid is right?"

Regina crossed her arms, either woman taking in every clue the other was offering. Regina finally gave up, "Do you?"

"Yeah." Emma nodded, no hesitation, "I want to do things. Dirty things. But I want the other stuff too. Just… not sure if either of us are ready for it…" with that, she walked out the door, leaving a stunned, slack-jawed Regina in her wake.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Henry stood outside his mother's bedroom door. She never slept passed nine and it was eleven. He heard a groan and came into the room. He saw the plush white covers covering everything up to his mother's flushed face and grew concerned, "Mom, are you okay?" He stepped further into the room.

"Henry!" Regina's voice was a lot higher in pitch than it usually was, "I'm fine. I'm uh… Not feeling well. I think I'm contagious so—STAY BACK!" She practically screamed when she saw her son start to move even closer to the bed, "Just uh… I don't want to get you sick either. You have those three reports to do…"

"You want me to get you something?"

"I just want to try to sleep it off right now. I think it's probably a 24-hour bug…"

"Okay… well…" Henry took a step or two towards the door, "Just holler if you need anything."

"I will, thank you, Honey."

"'Kay.." He walked back out and shut the door.

Something wasn't right. He called his other mother as soon as he got to his room and got his phone. But what was weird was as soon as he put the phone to his ear and heard the ringing tone, "LET IT GO! LET IT GO! I'M ONE WITH THE WIND AND SKY! LET IT GO! LET IT GO! YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME CRY! HERE I STAAAAAAND AND HERE I'LL STAY. LET THE STORM RAGE ON…" bellowed from his mother's room.

He knew that his brunette mother's ringtone was not that of a Disney movie, no hers were those of two 'pop princesses' Katy Perry's "Unconditional" for him and for everyone else, Kelly Clarkson's "What Doesn't Kill You." And he knew that Emma didn't care about getting specific ringtones for people… and how much she (not-so) secretly loved "Frozen"… Even though all that stuff went down with the real Anna and Elsa.

He kept his phone to his ear as he turned to his door with wide eyes. The music cut off and Emma answered all huffy. "Hey kid, what's up?"

Henry's feet took him back towards his mother's door.

"Kid? Everything all right?"

Henry watched his hand reach the doorknob and twist it open before he flung the door open. He saw his blonde mother's bare back and jeans as she looked for what he hoped and prayed was a shirt and, he saw his brunette mother sitting on the bed, her goodies covered—thank gods—by her plush white covers, but her back also bare as she leaned forward looking around as well.

Emma just stood straight about to declare victory of finding her bra and shirt, but was interrupted.

"What the hell?!" Henry dropped his phone as he stared on, unsure of what to say next.

Emma, whether it be instincts or the fact that she was half-naked in front of her son, ran to the bathroom and closed the door.

Regina glared at the door before turning to their son, "Henry?"

Henry stared where Emma had been standing.

Regina waved her hand, dressing herself in her robe before standing up.

The teen hadn't seen the magic flow from his brunette mother and he quickly covered his face and bolted for the exit, "Mom, you're naked!" He cried.

"I'm not." Regina was trying so, very hard to not laugh at her son as he processed what he'd walked in on the first time and now.

Henry took his hand from his eyes and gave a quick look to his mother's face before he started stalking to the bathroom door, "That's Emma in there!"

"It is."

"She was naked kind of."

Regina bit her lips. Her son was definitely Emma's son. "She was."

"Were you guys having sex?—Wait, she wasn't in here a couple seconds agooooooh! Oooooh! OH MY GOD! Oh my god she was under the covers and you guys _were_ have sex weren't you!? Oh my God! EW! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwww!"

Regina opened her mouth, looking up at the heavens as she thought for a moment, "We… were. Yes."

"Oh! Ew!" Henry physically cringed.

A now fully clothed Emma ripped the bathroom door open and marched out, "Regina!" She scolded, "You don't tell the kid that we…. were… doing..things!"

Regina raised her brows as she looked at her lover, "I promised him a few years ago I wouldn't lie to him… About anything… and I've kept that promise."

"You really think he wants to know about us having sex?! He doesn't want to know about us having sex! Do you?" Emma turned to Henry.

Henry was caught off guard, "What? Ew! No!... I mean…. Are you guys like..finally together or…?"

Regina looked at Emma who was digging a hole in the ground with her foot looking anywhere but her son. She smiled a barely there smile before looking at Henry, who appeared to be playing tennis with his eyes, looking at one mother and then the other until one of them would answer his question. "We're on a trial run…" Regina finally spoke up.

"A trial run? What the hell's a trial run?" Henry sat down in the chair nearest him and stared at his brunette mother.

"It means that Emma and I have hardly had good relationships in the past and even our most recent partners proved volatile in the end no matter how good or bad they actually are… We wanted to make sure that what we had was not just chemistry, but that it was real." Regina had moved from her place to stand next to Emma. She linked her arm with the blonde's, lacing their fingers together and giving and encouraging rub of the upper arm she'd attached herself to.

"We were sneakin' around, kid." Emma said plainly, still not looking his way.

"When was I gonna know?"

"When we knew; when we knew for sure…" Regina said softly.

Henry stared at both his mothers a moment before standing. He picked his phone up and went to the door, "Well…." He started, "Carry on… just uh… tell me to go somewhere next time you decide to make the hanky pank. I don't wanna be around for that. I mean, I'm happy for you and all, and I've wanted you guys to get together for forever, but…" he shook showing his disgust at the thought of his mommies in bed together. "There are limits to what a kid needs to know about his mommies' relationship…" He started down the hall and called from behind, "I'll be at the library. Let me know when it's official, and when you tell Grandma and Gramps… And August."

They stared at each other quietly and it was as the front door closed that they decided to move again, "Well…" Regina sat on her bed.

"Well…" Emma stared at the brunette as she sat back on the bed. "Guess we don't have to have a talk about sneakin' around to the kid…"

Regina knit her brows and looked up in question, "How did you know I was concerned about that?"

"Because I know you, Regina… I know every part of you…" The blonde got a dirty grin on her face, "Literally."

Regina tried to hide her amusement, but failed when Emma got on her knees in between her legs and started kissing her neck.

"What do you say, Your Majesty? You wanna try out an orphaned savior instead of an outlaw or a stable boy?"

Regina smiled a small, sad smile as she pressed their foreheads together. She nodded softly, "I think an orphaned savior is just what an evil queen needs to stay good."

Emma leaned in and sealed the deal with a kiss, "Then I guess we should tell the kid we're official…"

"Let's tell him tonight… He gave us the house… and the entire day." Regina pulled Emma with her as she leaned back on the bed.

"I just got dressed…"

"Yeah, because we were interrupted… I think you need to finish what you started…"

Emma smirked with a waggle of her eyebrows and nodded, "Yes, ma'am."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Henry was more excited and even delighted by his grandparent's reactions than Emma or Regina. He was also the first to tell August that they were together, so he could stop with his crap—not that August couldn't clearly see that they were together by the fact that Emma had her arm around Regina and they'd been kissing when he walked in.

No, Henry didn't need nor did he want another father. His mothers were the perfect parents.


End file.
